...Wolf was determined to eat Rabbit
In one of the most luxurious
western food restaurants in M City, accompanied by genteel violins playing in
the background, Xiao Tu squinted at the man sitting across the white linen
draped table.
It was such a waste, Xiao Tu
thought. It was the first time in her twenty-six years of life that she had
been invited to such a dreamy restaurant.
The man was her eleventh boyfriend,
the lively, cute and noisy Zheng Tai. But as soon as she sat, she hadn’t seen
his face, all she was getting was the close-up of the whorl atop the crown of his
head.
‘Tu-jie, I…’
Xiao Tu burst out laughing, ‘Wait a
moment, why are you calling me “Tu-jie” now?’
‘Well, because you’re older than me.
Haven’t I always called you sister?’
‘Dear boy, I have made you a little
confused. Just look up and be straight with me.’
Xiao Zheng listed his head, a
little too violently, tears hung on his eyes threatening to fall, ‘Sister,
let’s break up!’
Xiao Tu was no longer surprised.
Alas, her life seems to be like a Qiong Yao novel; she had met many men, and
had no fate with any of them. But this motherfucker was the one holding her
hand the other day. (Zuben: Qiong Yao is a novelist, I dunno if she writes long suffering women but yeah)
‘Sister Tu, I have always regarded
you was my sister.’
‘But I remember you took my hand.’
‘That was to help you cross the
road, I was afraid you’ll get hit by a car.’
‘But you also hugged my shoulder.’
‘That was so you don’t get crowded
around.’
‘But I remember you also kissed
me.’
‘Um, that wasn’t me…uhh, I don’t
know how my lips ended up on yours…It was an accident!’
Xiao Tu speechlessly looked
heavenward. She thought by this time she had met enough sons of bitches, and
this one would be the one good guy. Who knew that there was one more? This
dude’s skill in really incomparable. (Sister, at this time, you should be said
you were dumped. Zuben: Why should she be sad she was dumped by a bastard?)
Just as she was praising his
ability to revise history, a sexy girl came up to the table. She was wearing a
black spaghetti strap cocktail dress that clung to curves up front and the
back. She had lots of make up on her face.
Wow, she’s really sexy! Xiao Tu thought. Her breasts
must be two cups bigger than herself. Look at those long legs, wowie wow wow!
Slender waist that made Xiao Tu want to pinch it. Wait a moment, why is a man’s
arm around the waist? Why was he blocking her appreciation of the beautiful
woman? (Zuben: LOL!)
‘Sister Tu, this is my new
girlfriend, Ada. This is what I wanted to announce. She takes really good care
of me.’
Oh, this was his new girlfriend. He
was quite capable; he had a good eye. (Zuben; the person he was dumping you
for…)
It took a while before she realised
that he dumped her because of this vixen. Xiao Tu’s brain finally kicked into
gear, as she was about to get a fight started, it was strangled in its cradle
by a cheesy “Sister Tu”. (Zuben: It’s one of those heroines…facepalm)
So, the meal ended with a cordial
atmosphere with her wising her “younger brother and sister” a long and happy
relationship. The couple walked out, leaving her to pay the bill.
Half a month’s salary, gone up in
smoke. (Zuben: What a mug)
Leaving the restaurant, she thought
of herself. When she asked her parents, they told her she was the most
beautiful. (Zuben: They are not the most impartial judges, though) But when she
wasn’t wearing work clothes, she looked like a teenager because of her small
stature.
Mulling it over, she decided that
the root cause was her name. In fact, she had complained to her father many
times over this matter wondering what spirit has possessed him to agree to such
a name. He had listened to a dodgy fortune-teller who had told him that with Xiao
Tu as her name, her career trajectory and love life would be smooth.
Fuck that! She was still a small
project leader, and her love life was horrifying.
The more she thought about it, the
more the believed the problem lay in her name. She had to change it. She wasn’t
telling her father beforehand, or he would start wailing. No matter if he cried
or not, she was not having this name one moment longer. She was going straight
to the man how would calculate a new name for her.
She rushed to the closest place and
found a long line. So many people also had name issues?! She sympathetically
stood at the back of the line, and waited her turn. She watched in envy as
people left smiling with their new names, the smile she pasted on her face
twitched.
Finally, it was her turn.
Seeing the old man, she felt he was
a hero here to save the world.
‘Sir, my name is Xiao Tu. I would
like to change my name. Please calculate.’ She said, but a male voice spoke
over her.
‘Sir, this is my name. Calculate
quickly, I’m in a hurry!’
Hold on a moment, it was her turn
after waiting in line for so long. How dare he just butt in?
She looked up at the rude man in
righteous indignation and stopped short.
Wow! This man was the best. (Zuben:
She is easily duped by pretty things, isn’t she?)
Short hair, heroic eyebrows,
determined eyes, high nose, nice lips and great figure under his suit! She
instantly forgot about the new name calculation.
‘Xiao Tu, Lang Lang. Who was
first?’ The old man’s voice pulled back Xiao Tu to the matter at hand.
‘Xiao Tu?’ the handsome stranger
snickered, ‘Funny name.’
Xiao Tu’s flames of anger blazed.
She never allowed anyone to make fun of her name, not even if they were Mr
Universe!
‘Ha! Ha! And Lang Lang is any
better?’
His eyes flashed and he glared at
her. He turned to the name changer,
‘Calculate for me first, I am in a
hurry.’
‘So what? How can you be so rude.
Ask the people behind…’ she turned back and she was the only one, ‘Since there
is no one else, you have to ask me, and I don’t agree!’
Xiao Tu admired her newly acquired
tenacity and wit. Such a pity this sort of man wouldn’t look at her twice.
But he ignored her and continued to
talk to the name changer fellow.
‘Mr Lang, I am talking to you.
Couldn’t you give me some basic courtesy? We have all reached our last straw to
come here. Why can’t you be more patient?’
He finally turned to her with a
blank stare. His face really could charm all living beings.
But from his sexy mouth popped out
two words that made Xiao Tu’s sand castle collapse, ‘Old woman.’
Xiao Tu felt like a nuclear bomb
had detonated in her head, she was seething. She grabbed him by the collar, and
the plan was to look straight in his eyes, but she wasn’t wearing her 12-inch
heels today. Why?!
Instead, she had to tilt her head
up and up to look at him.
‘You think I am old?! How dare you
call me old? Do you have any evidence?’ Her quarrel mode had been influenced by
her policeman dad.
‘Sis, are you in a hurry? You get
your name calculated. I won’t argue with you.’
Elder sister?! Was it reasonable
for him to call her “elder sister”?
‘Uncle Wolf, although you’re very handsome and can kill a lot of women. I can see you have a lot of fine lines, wrinkles and crow’s feet around your eyes. You must be over thirty five. I am sorry, I am much younger than you. But it seems your name matches you well. You shouldn’t waste your time changing it. Your time would be better spent learning traditional Chinese etiquette and customs.’
Seeing the fury in his eyes, Xiao Tu felt a sense of triumph. She had little bubbles of glee flying around, roaring~~~
The old man watching them coughed,
‘Are you two still wanting a calculation?’ he asked, after they both remained
speechless for a time. Was the quarrel over? What a shame.
‘Nevermind!’ The both shouted in
unison.
Xiao Tu was heady with her victory,
while Lang Lang was furious.
They glared at each other one last
time, turned and strode off in different directions leaving the old man
baffled.
‘What did I do?’
After getting off the bus, Xiao Tu
didn’t care about the horror of being almost squeezed into a living pancake,
she ran to her grand company building. Let’s say because Comrade Tu’s legs are
short, her 100m dash was not so speedy.
She rushed to the entrance, before
taking a breath, changed her ugly men’s sandals into ultra-high court shoes.
Looking at the state of her suit with her phone camera, she strode in.
As soon as the lift doors opened on
the planning department floor, she was greeted with glances of sympathy. She
looked around in puzzlement, and went to her seat.
Before she could settle, Zhen Zhen
accosted her.
‘Tutu, I have good news and bad
news. Which one do you want to hear first?’
‘Good news!’
‘The good news is that we have a
new director, and it is the Lang heir! He was sent to our city to oversee the
branch as soon as he returned home from abroad. Don’t you see that today, all
the woman, young, old, ugly and beautiful are all dressed like humans? Well, we
saw him today, and he is stupendously handsome, and has temperament and style.
Much more handsome than that young teacher back at uni.’
‘Wow!’ Xiao Tu began to have stars
in her eyes.
‘Hold your horses, Tutu. The bad
news is, he was in our department from 8 to 8:29 and you still hadn’t arrived.
He told us that from now on he would be strict about our time keeping; we must
be on time. So he’s deducting your bonus this month.’
‘What?!’ Xiao Tu shot out of her chair.
Zhen Zhen grabbed her arm, ‘I
haven’t finished yet. He asked you to come to his office when you arrive.’
‘Oh…’
When Xiao Tu went up to the
directors office, she met his secretary.
Wow! The secretary that the
handsome director brought is very unusual; very beautiful.
‘Director Lang is expecting you.
You can go in.’ The secretary said with a smile.
Xiao Tu looked behind her at the
envious eyes of the women in the office, lamenting the world’s evils. What kind
of shrimp had the bird caught? Thinking of their envy, she wanted to vomit
blood. Wasn’t he just another handsome guy? Were they willing to sacrifice a
month’s bonus to go to his office? She’ll see if it was worth it.
Xiao Tu donning on a buyer’s
inspection mode, knocked on the door.
‘Please come in.’
Very polite, showing his good style
as a white collar worker.
She gently turned the handle and
entered, gently closed the door, before looking up. Xiao Tu was stunned
foolish.
Was the man sitting in the
director’s chair not that Lang Lang?!
It was the first time in her life
that Xiao Tu lost the need to appreciate a handsome man. She dropped her head
like an angry downtrodden daughter-in-law.
‘What’s the matter? Miss Xiao is
usually very eloquent.’ He said. Seeing her subdued appearance, he smiled.
Xiao Tu was truly regretful; she
had never had a sharp tongue in her life. She didn’t know what possessed her
yesterday, why did she have to win? She should just die first.
‘Lang..er Director Lang,’ she
stammered.
‘It seems Miss Xiao is now afraid
of me? Don’t worry, although I have been abroad for many years, I learned a lot
about Chinese traditional etiquette and customs. I know it is wrong to take
revenge on others.’ (Zuben: Really?)
Xiao Tu felt as though she had been
struck by thunder. Forget it, she didn’t want to offend him. But she wasn’t
going to be sheepish anymore, that’s not her style. Besides, he was the one who
caused the problem yesterday.
‘Lang…Director Lang, I apologise.’ What? How could you say something that isn’t true? Are you giving in?
‘Hm. Let’s get down to business.
Let’s talk about your being late.’
Xiao Tu opened her mouth to
protest, but he stopped her, ‘Are you about to say you were here? I don’t think
it’s any thing to be proud of that the project leader arrives last. Am I right,
Miss Xiao?’
Yes, you’re right. You’re the most
reasonable. You are the boss. I am just a peon. A peon who stepped on the boss’
land mine. How dare I say anything?
‘Right. You are indeed. I will do
well in the future. I would arrive a few minutes in advance. I would lead the
team to do a good job in this project. I will live up to your expectations!’
Xiao Tu had a face full of vigour before her superior Director Lang.
‘Fine, two months of your bonus
deducted as a warning. You can go back.’
Two months?!
Wasn’t it a month? How could she
believe he didn’t hold a grudge! How could she believe he didn’t hate her?!
What could she do? Forget it. Best
to leave before she gets internal bleeding from restrained anger. Before he
could take more revenge, she had to run as fast as possible.
Just as she touched the door
handle, his evil voice called her back.
‘Miss Xiao, I would also like a
comprehensive evaluation of the current status of your project before end of
day. Would that be a problem?’
Comprehensive analysis? Before the
end of the day? Might as well just kill her.
‘Yes, sir.’ She said, before
quickly opening the door and rushing out. The secretary looked up at her
harried exit in consternation.
Her phone buzzed. ‘Yes, Director?’
‘Blue mountain coffee, please.’
When his secretary brought in the
coffee, she found their usually cold-faced director grinning at his computer
screen.
Why was he so happy? (Zuben:
Devising plans for rabbit season.)
🐰🐺
‘Sister Tu is back! How did it go?’
Xiao Qi one of her colleagues asked. She always wondered how a young man, who
just graduated from university, gossiped as much as a woman – he had his ear on
the pulse. (Zuben: Girl, everyone gossips. Men are terrible gossips but like to pretend that their gossiping is "discussion.")
She looked at the other women in
the planning department, they were all pretending to work, but in truth, they
were eavesdropping.
They were getting nothing! Your new
handsome guy has offended me, and you get nothing.
She grabbed Xiao Qi’s ear, ‘No! Get
back to work! And summarise the statements from yesterday and bring it to me!’
Think you can direct me? I also
have peons!
Xiao Qi rubbed his aching ears and
returned to his desk angrily, while throwing a look of “I tried my best” to the
rest of the department.
Xiao Tu returned to her desk in a
huff. Zhen Zhen rolled her chair over, ‘Tutu, what’s the matter with you? It’s
only a month’s bonus. Don’t worry I’ll treat you to beef brisket at lunch time.
Good girl.’
Zhen Zhen, you don’t know my true pain!
Jiayou, miss rabbit!
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