Do No Reconcile 7 - 8 (h)

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7 Possible distractions.

Guanguan had lived a spoiled and sheltered life since her childhood. Her parents, and brother and sister-in-law doted on her. Even when there had been issues at home, her brother made sure she led an unbothered life. She had never known the word “poverty”, not could she imagine what a slum was. But listening to her driver, she could tell that this was the kind of place the poorest people lived. She insisted on her driver taking her there. It was the first time she’d ever stepped in a place that wasn’t an affluent environment.

She never imagined the slums looked like what lay before her. Old, decrepit buildings that had been built too close together. Many of the buildings looked like they were on the verge of collapse. The walls were blackened with dirt and grime, and it felt claustrophobic. The place stank like rotting fish with rubbish piles lining the streets. And yet, there were many people selling things on the streets; fruit, meat, fish, and clothing even in such a dirty environment. It was noisy and uncomfortable. People dressed shabbily, throwing dirty water and rubbish away without care, wiping their dirty hands on their body.

Guanguna was frightened by the experience and quickly left; she could not imagine how such an environment produced such a clean boy. (Zuben: He has the hero halo protecting him from dirt, you know)

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Guanguan returned to her apartment and keyed in the password for her lock, but it was wrong. She tried again. Wrong. She kept trying and she kept keying in the wrong code.

She got so frustrated she sank to the floor in front of her door, and lost it.

Even the door was bullying her! She dropped her head to her knees and wept.

Why had she loved Huo Mu so much? She had not looked down on him because of his family or because he was poor. She, who slept on high thread count sheets and luxurious mattresses, would go with him to a motel that was 100 a night, enduring the seedy environment to be with him. She had been so good to him; how could he have just played with her heart? (Zuben: There. There. Dumb fool, that is what he was)

She eventually got in.

She didn’t sleep well that night, and when she went to work in the morning, she had panda eyes.

Her sales associate, Xiao Yu, and the photographer were at a computer studying photos.

Xiao Yu smiled, and stroked the handsome man’s face on the screen.

They turned to find her there,

‘Guanguan-jie, come and see. The photographer finished with the pictures yesterday. They both of them are so good looking, there was really no need for retouching. Don’t you think it looks good?’

Guanguan glanced at the photo casually, not knowing why she had watched them take the photos that day. There had been a sense of distress. They had looked so loving, but possibly because of her jealousy, she felt wrong. Guanguan turned to walk away, but Xiaoyu stopped her, ‘Guanguan-jie, don’t go. Could you contact Mr Huo and tell him about the pictures? I can’t go do it because we have another client shortly. Please ask if he wants anymore retouching.’

Guanguan had wanted to refuse but Xiaoyu was already leaving, ‘We’re off.’

Guanguan had no choice. Staring at the photos like hot potatoes, she just wanted to deal with it quickly. She decided to send the photos via WeChat, but she found she had been blackened and blocked by Huo Mu.

Guanguan swore; his dog head really had the ability, she wanted to beat him up. He dared block her? Because she didn’t sleep with him? Was he so vindictive?

Trembling with anger, she dialled his number; business was business, it had to be done. Huo Mu answered very quickly.

‘Hello?’

His voice sounded mellow in her ear. (Zuben: Make your knees soft?)

‘Hello, Mr Huo. This is the owner of the bridal shop you took your wedding photos. The pictures are ready; the photographer would like to know your thoughts. Is it convenient for you to give us your email address so we can send the photos to you?’

There was no reply on the other end, Guanguan thought he had hung up, but then he said, ‘I’d rather not give you my private email so I don’t get adverts from your shop. I would prefer it if you brought the USB flash drive to my office.’

Guanguan seethed silently, but he continued in the dry tone, ‘If you’re the manager, please wear underwear when you come. Otherwise, I’m afraid I will not be able to concentrate on the photos and would be fixated on your person. Of course, if Miss Manager wants to seduce me, it wouldn’t matter if you’re wearing underwear or not.’

Guanguan could not stand it anymore, she hung up. Fucking pervert!

Guanguan studied herself in one of the shop’s many mirrors; she was wearing jeans and a shirt today. There should be no issues. She copied the photos into a flash drive and drove to his company. It was a start-up, only two years old. But in those two years, there had been rapid development, so much so that he could rent many floors in a building in the city centre.

When Guanguan arrived, she was let through freely. No one challenged her. She was directed straight to his office. His office was a large one-way glass cube; he could see through the glass to the outside but the workers could not see inside. (Zuben: Convenient)

When she entered, he was looking at documents and signing. As she was about to turn away, she noticed he was wearing a rubber bracelet.

Wasn’t that the bracelet she had given him?

When they were in their second year of junior school [High school], it had been popular to give rubber bands to boyfriends, to display one’s ownership so that other women would not approach. She had put it on him and had told him never to take it off. And in the time they dated, he never did.

And now, he still had it.

8 Warmth

Guanguan laughed at her fanciful notion; how could that be her rubber bracelet? How could he wear a such a cheap thing for so long? Only a fool would believe it was the same one. It was likely his fiancée that put a rubber band on him, it’s not like they are unique.

She hadn’t noticed it the day before yesterday, when he had pressed her against the wall, but her attention had been diverted, and the suit and shirt had covered his wrist. Here, because he was writing, his sleeve was slightly pulled back.

She could only wait quietly on the sofa while he worked. His secretary had informed her that he would speak to her when he was done. But it was beginning to feel like ages; what ghost was he doing reading and signing documents all morning? She studied him as she sipped on her coffee, focused on his work. He had also been like that in high school. Most of their dates had been in the library. It had been a while since she saw him looking so serious, she was enthralled. In the past, just the mere sight of him in a white t-shirt and jeans, bowing his head to write, sent her into raptures. Not to mention now he was in a suit and shiny leather shoes. She watched his hands as he signed, he had really good-looking hands and when he touched her she felt charged.

But Guanguan didn’t want to disturb him right now, after all, he was a big boss. She had not been able to sleep, and had got out of bed too early. Usually she stayed up till two or three in the morning and woke up at two or three in the afternoon. Today was the earliest she had risen in a long time.

As she watched him, she began to nod off. Her head dropped to the side only to be supported by a large cool hand. Guanguan opened her eyes to see Huo Mu in front of her. She handed him the flash drive,

‘Are you finished? Could you have a look at the photos? If you’re satisfied, I can take it back to the printers for enlargement and framing.

He took the drive from her and causally put it aside. He took her hand and asked, ‘You sound hungry, let’s go out to eat.’

Guanguan was stupefied; did your mother come and eat with you?

She pushed his hand away angrily, ‘You let me go, I’m not in the mood. I am just here to complete my work. If you don’t want to look at it, we’ll send it to the printers as is.’

Huo Mu watched her for a spell before said, ‘Print it. I don’t need to see it.’

‘What about your fiancée? Aren’t you going to discuss it with her?’

‘No need to.’

How could there be such an unreliable husband. When she got married, she would make sure he was looking at all the pictures, or he wouldn’t live. Sitting here from morning to noon for nothing, Guanguan picked up her hand bag and prepared to leave. But Huo Mu grabbed her wrist, ‘Please eat with me. I’m really hungry,’ he said piteously, ‘and you know my stomach hurts when I get too hungry.’ (Zuben: What’s so special about that? Everyone’s stomach hurts when they get too hungry)

Hearing the while, Guanguan couldn’t even say anything even if she wanted to refuse. She knew the terrible stomach ache he had when he was hungry. His home was impoverished, and she often noted that he only ate one meal a day when they were young.

He drove them to a high-end restaurant, a steak house. It was a well-known restaurant, and she had heard the food was very delicious. Her little sister had asked her to come with her, but Guanguan had no time to come out. (Zuben: What are you doing in your “decadent” life that makes you so busy) Now, she was going with Huo Mu. He took her hand as they entered, she wanted to shake him off but it was in public and she didn’t want to make a scene.

His hand had a familiar temperature, cool. His body temperature had always been low. During winter, Guanguan had always worried about him freezing to death. (Zuben: Just because the hands are cold doesn’t mean the body is…) She would often put his hands under her bra so he could warm his hands on her breasts and play with them. (Zuben: I do that – I mean warm my hands on my boobs. They are the body’s warming pads)

She had been so stupid back then.

She pursued him through summer and autumn, and he only acquiesced in winter. After that Guanguan regularly accompanied him to the library to work on past questions. In truth, she had no interest in studying, so she could only watch him.

The heating in the library was high, so it was rather warm in the building. Guanguan looked about, seeing that there was no one around, she quietly said to him, ‘Huo Mu, give me your hand.’

Huo Mu held out his free hand, she found it so cold, ‘Why is your hand still so cold? We’ve been inside for a while. Are you always cold?’

He nodded absently. Guanguan looked about again, seeing there was no one about, she put his hand under her sweater and directly on a breast.

‘Huo Mu, push my bra up and warm your hand on my boobs. I’ll warm your hands.’

Huo Mu could feel her flesh through the thin cloth of her bra, his hands shook.

The most intimate thing they had done was lightly kiss after a month of dating. And now, she was making him fondle her breasts in public. Huo Mu was scared they would be seen, ‘Let go, don’t make trouble. We’re in public. Besides, it’s too early for such things.’

Guanguan didn’t listen, she held his hand tightly against her breast. She was a seductive vixen as she said, ‘But I want you to touch me. There’s no one about. Touch me. I want to see how it feels when you touch me.’

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