Woman Hating Duke 41 - 42

Sizh - Pixiv

41 Lonely Passion:

Had he noticed?!

I stopped mid-motion and held my breath, but the Duke stared directly at me. Time passed slowly with us staring at each other,

‘Julia…’ he called quietly. He may think this was a dream; I gave him a gentle smile. I couldn’t afford him finding out it was really me and catching me.

‘Henry, close your eyes,’ I whispered softly as I approached him, ‘have a good dream.’

‘I don’t want to close my eyes, to be able to see you…I wanted to see you so badly, Julia.’

How did he know it was me? My hair colour and its length were different; I was in simple town clothes. How could he tell?

‘Shhhh…don’t say any more.’

I hid the bindings behind me as I leaned over Henry. Our lips were close enough and he kissed me deeply. I felt like I was attacked by his scent from inside. I frantically pulled back so I could take a cleansing breath. Henry lay back against his pillow, his soft golden hair spread out with his sleepy sapphire blue eyes staring up at me.

I guided the rope through a hole in the ornate lattice headboard above Henry’s head, and then I took his hands above his head and tied them together. Once he was secure, I clambered on top of him and straddled him and laughed in his face.

‘Your Grace, you should not be able to move at this moment. So, since you were looking for me, I have come to see you.’

He gave a puzzled look, ‘Julia?!’

‘Duke Magnaria, did you not understand my letter? I told you I never wanted to see you again.’

He realised it wasn’t a dream, and he was suddenly awake. He tried to move his hands but they had been tied fast to the headboard. He stared at me in frustration.

‘Julia, how come you’re here? Why have you been hiding from me?'

‘Stop looking for me! I never want to see you again. I just came here to tell you this. It is really annoying to hear that you have been searching for me. So I need you to swear never to look for me again. If you do, I will release you.’

Henry shook his head and gave sad smile, then his expression became serious as he said, ‘I will never promise such a thing. You told me you would wait for me, was it a lie?’

‘I do not remember making any promise with you. Originally, we had nothing to do with each other; you should marry Isabel and I will marry a man who can inherit my family name. It’s easy. I was never interested in you. Let us go back to that. This is my wish.’ (Zuben: Aunty, you were the one who got involved in his business in the first place.)

‘So are you going to marry, James? Do you love him?’

‘James has nothing to do with it. You need to leave me in peace. Impoverished nobles have their pride as well. I’m going now. Goodbye, your Grace. Be well.’

‘No! Wait, Julia!’

Just as I was about to get off the Duke, he somehow used his body to turn me over so I was now under him, although his hands were still tied above his head.

‘You will never escape me. I have decided to never let go of you the moment I see you again, and then you came to me yourself. I will keep you here in my manor forever. That is the only thing you need to talk about.’

What a horrible thing to say! Why am I still being threatened even though he is the one with his hands tied? (Zuben: Is he an ordinary nincompoop?)

‘Hold on a moment! How dare you threa-‘

He kissed me before I could finish my sentence. A sense of nostalgia filled me as he kissed me over and over.

‘How you feel doesn’t matter anymore. You can try to run with all your might; I will chase you forever.  I will never give up on you.’

‘That’s…preposterous!’

I could not move at all, he pressed me down and continued to kiss me deeply. His kissed were filled with his passion and rage, which for some reason, made me begin to cry. The tears I had thought had been exhausted were flowing again and filling my eyes. When he noticed my tears, Henry pulled away,

‘I hate you…I hate you so much…’ I sobbed.

I cried feeling sorry for myself. Tears fell one after the other down my face to the sheets beneath me.

‘Julia…please don’t cry. I never want to see you cry. I just want you to stay by my side.’

I didn’t reply but continued to sob. He put his face against mine and rubbed. I realised because his hands were tied, he was trying to wipe my tears with his face. My tears made his face wet, and soon I did not know which one of us was crying.

Why did he behave like he loved me? But did he behave like this to just me? I’m sure he had done the same to other women. (Zuben: Oh for fuck sake!)

‘Stop it already. Don’t disturb my heart anymore.’

‘Do I? Do I disturb your heart? Does that mean you care for me? Please tell me you care. Please tell me you love me, Julia.’

Our cheeks were against each other, so I could not see his face as he said these words. I could only feel a slight tremor in his voice and here the pain in his whisper. (Zuben: But no, he’s a no-good dirty rat, right?)

‘No, I don’t care for you!’ I replied, ‘I absolutely hate you! It would be nice if you just marry Lady Isabel and leave me be!’ (Zuben: Julia, you arsehole!)

‘Julia, do you think that it does not hurt me when you say things like this. Have you ever thought for one moment how I feel when you say you hate me?’

I pushed him away from me, my face was still wet, but water dropped from the end of his chin onto my eyebrow as if Henry was crying.

‘Julia…’ he pleaded.

I turned away from him; I did not want to be fooled by him. I did not want to be affected by the pain in his voice.

I looked at the darkness outside the window and remained silent. After a while, Henry lifted himself off me and I escaped from him quickly. As I got off I heard him ask quietly from behind me,

‘Is there any possibility that you care for me?’

‘No.’ I replied without turning. I could not see because my eyes were filled with tears. I searched for the bag I had brought with me; rummaging around, I found a small pair of scissors which I put into the Duke’s open hand.

‘Use this to cut the binding. Be careful, if you cut your hands, they take long to heal because you have to use your hands.’ I spoke without looking at his face.

‘Have your injuries healed?’He asked.

‘Physical injuries get better day by day, but injuries of the heart don’t heal so easily. Goodbye, your Grace. It was unexpectedly fun.’

I crossed the room, opened the door, stepped out and closed it, without looking back. 

🃏

42 Return to Hermiata:

I returned to Percy’s room without getting caught. He hadn’t slept for fear so the door opened the moment I reached his door. He was surprised to see me crying but he gave me a reproachful look, before he went to prepare the carriage to take me back to the inn. It was in the wee hours when I reached the inn, Percy bid me goodnight and returned.  I used the key I had borrowed from Shirley to enter the inn through the back-door and crept up to our room. I dived into my bed so as not to make a lot of noise. Hannah had not noticed my absence, she was still fast asleep. I lay on my bed unable to sleep, my heart hurt from my first and last heartbreak.

‘It’s alright,’ I told myself, ‘Lots of people have gotten over heartbreak in the past. No one ever died of a broken heart. I will be alright. I…will be…alright…’ 

I muttered over and over again.

(Zuben: Imagine being the cause of your own heart break because you have selective hearing and selective reasoning)

🂬

Time flowed quickly. The sales of caramel in Myseln was successful, we had established a few steady customers. Even if there were customers that would stop buying when we left Myseln, we still had a enough contacts that would ensure business would flourish. That being said, I still wanted someone to stay in Myseln to be the face of Hermiata caramel here. I wanted Hannah to stay and be this person. I spoke to her about it a week before we were due to leave for Hermiata. But she was a bit reluctant,

‘You want me to stay here and sell the caramel? But who would look after you, Miss? Not everyone can care for a strange Miss as you.’

‘Pardon me, I will reflect on my character. From now on I will try to act like an exemplary lady and live gracefully. I have to start looking for a husband in earnest before I turn twenty. So Hannah, you have to become your important person’s bride with peace of mind.’

Hannah blushed as we packaged the recent shipment of caramel.

‘No, Miss, I have decided that I would not marry until you did.’

Did she had any idea how she looked right now?

‘It’s alright, worst comes to worst, I can always marry James.’

‘Why is marrying a Prince “worst comes to worst”? I really don’t understand you sometimes.’ Hannah said with some exasperation.

‘I don’t know what your values are, but I want you to be happy! You being here is also useful; we will have a base from which to launch Hermiata speciality products from. Don’t you think that will be good? Stay here, be with Thomas. And if things don’t go well, I can always re-hire you as my maid.’

‘Miss…I’m not sure if I should be happy or sad, but your care has been transmitted. Thank you.’ She said tearfully embracing me.

I was deeply affected by our impending parting; Hannah had been my maid since I was a little girl. Still I enjoyed the carefree like of a town girl for one more week and had a sentimental farewell with Hannah. Shirley cried a lot on the day I was leaving, it was a bit distressing,

‘Oh Shirley, I have something to tell you,’ I said taking her aside, ‘I’m really a minor aristocrat from a very rural province, Hermiata. I’m sorry I hid it from you.’ I didn’t want to lie to her anymore since she had been asking to be my sister (Zuben: <.<)

‘But I will be coming back and I will be staying here again, alright.’

She nodded, her hazel eyes full of tears, and hugged me.

‘As for Luke, you can date him if you like, but do it with your eyes open. If you like him, marry him, but only if you are confident that you will both think of each other even when times are hard.’

She nodded against my chest.

‘Sister, please come and see me again. I will be waiting for you.’ She said tearfully.

I said goodbye to the people I had met, asked Hilda and Thomas to look after Hannah. With that, my life as a commoner ended. I returned home.

I restored my hair colour, wore my own clothes, and I hired a woman to accompany me on my long journey back on the stage coach. On the journey, I recalled how I met Marius. I had no idea, the sharp-eyed man would be the famous Duke of Magnaria.

Percy told me, the Duke stopped looking for me after our meeting. He must be preparing for his marriage to Isabelle now. The invitation may come to us in Hermiata, as we are relatives, but I will refuse to go due to illness. I have not forgotten Henry, so I cannot genuinely congratulate them.

When will I forget him? When will I stop remembering?

We passed many towns and soon the towns and villages were separated by wider and wider countryside, soon we reached Hermiata. I had hit with a sense of nostalgia from the familiar sights and scents. I felt like I had been in a dream.

After three long days of travel, I arrived home to my father, mother and familiar servants that I had not seen in what felt like an age, who were waiting to greet me. But there was a familiar face I was so shocked to see, so shocked my heart stopped.

‘Hello Julia, it’s been forty-eight days and five hours since we last met. I am glad I finally get to see you. ‘

‘James! What are you doing here?’ I cried out in shock.

But he tossed his hair, and had a mischievous glint in his blue-green eyes. 

Zuben: Do you think Julia has inferiority complex to/for Henry? Could it be that she can't believe such an outstanding guy could actually truly love her? That's why she would rather run around in stupid circles. Or is this just denseness for drama sake?!

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